The Trip Home

My photo taking has diminished so these latest posts might be a bit barren. Maybe I need to delve into the archive from the trip to provide some visual interest. Here are the girls in People's Park, Nanchang. At any rate:

It's 11:45 am here in Seattle. This house is ghost quiet. China is 15 hours ahead, so all of our body clocks tell us it is 2:45 am tomorrow, which explains why everyone is asleep.

I thought I would be able to post an update yesterday that was a little longer than "we're back" but I was just too tired. Slept for 5 hours in the afternoon - got up at dinner time. Zoe and Karen got up at about the same time, and Emma slept until about 8 or 9 pm. It was a bit strange - I was continually shocked about how late in the evening it was - my whole body clock was thrown off. It's funny because I take pride in my ability to adapt relatively quickly to a new time zone, but I was way off in thinking I could push through, stay up all day yesterday, go to bed at a normal time last night, and wake up at a semi-normal time today. Even coffee is not powerful enough to combat the effects of such sleep deprivation as we've had due to our trip home.

The trip home...

Our travel day started in a typical fashion for China. We had ordered a 4:30 am wake-up call and the bellhop was due at our room by 5:20 to pick up bags. No way I was going to spend 15 hours on an airplane without a shower first, so Karen and I allowed enough time for the two of us to clean up before we woke Zoe and Emma this morning.

I woke up several times prior to 4:30 am and checked my watch. Must have been about hourly all night. I think I was anxious about the trip. I am glad I did not sleep soundly, however, because I heard somebody coughing outside on the street and looked at my watch and lo and behold - 4:40 am. No wake-up call. Karen had even set the alarm by the bed. No alarm this morning! The gods of travel are not smiling on us this morning. Cordelia told us later that this was not the first time the Victory Hotel forgot a wake-up call. Hopefully she will work this little tidbit into her future warnings to others who are staying here. Little details like a wake-up call help explain the price difference between the cheaper Victory and the more expensive White Swan.

The hotel has packed us a breakfast and we board the van for the airport. It's our final look at China, and unfortunately we spend most of the time focusing on feeding Zoe and Emma and not really looking out the window because before we know it, we are at the airport and checking in.

Cordelia helped us with check-in. Luckily this time nobody decided to just blatantly cut in line ahead of us. In Nanchang this had happened at the airport and Michelle had given the culprit a hard time (in Chinese) but he did not care. One thing I have learned through the Tokyo Airport and in various waiting situations in China - it seems to be every person for themselves. You need to be a bit aggressive in defending your position if you want to get anywhere. Anyway, we are pulled aside for a bag screening at check-in, and two officials go through one of our checked bags in detail before we are allowed to get our boarding passes. This is one with lots of gifts in it, and I can only hope they re-pack it as well as we had to protect these items.

We get our passes and have just enough time to say goodbye to Cordelia - take a final photo - pass through the Passport Check, Security, bathrooms, and board our plane. Our departure is 8:20 am, but boarding starts an hour before that. This is because we go through another screening on the jetway where all of our carry-ons are examined in detail before we are allowed to get onto the airplane.

4.5 hours to Tokyo. This is mostly uneventful. Zoe is great, no complaints, and we get a meal. Karen Zoe and Emma are in one row of three, and I am on the aisle in the row behind them. Zoe soils her first diaper as we are backing out of the gate and it turns out things are not fully contained. Karen applies a "patch" - our new strategy for this situation - basically add a diaper on top until we can deal with the issue correctly. We take off and once in the air, I take Zoe to the bathroom for a change. She does not like this at all and lets everyone on the airplane know about it. In my mind, the bathroom is a soundproof chamber- so I am not too worried- but by the time I return to the seat (after enduring stares and glares from the peanut gallery on the plane), Karen tells me that Zoe was quite audible through the bathroom walls, and at least up to our row which was about 5 rows away. That explains the reaction of the onlookers. I am sure they pictured some sort of torture being applied behind closed doors.

Tokyo was a scene we'd experienced before: Off the airplane, another security check (all bags on the belt, etc.) and then to our connecting flight. This time we had a bit of a break - about 30 minutes until boarding. Emma got out her jump rope and worked in a bit of exercise in anticipation of our long flight ahead. I'm feeling pretty good - we've knocked off 1/3 of our travel so far, and no major incidents to report.

Our second flight is arranged better. We have the 4 seats together in the middle of the 2-4-2 airplane. This flight also has power ports, and entertainment (video monitors) on each seat where you can select your own movie or music to pass the time. Emma dives into the DVD collection, and Zoe spends a lot of time in Karen's lap.

The video monitors also show the airplane's progress on an interactive map. I check this a bit too often - like a watched toaster that never pops, our route across the Pacific Ocean looks endless and the clock appears to have stopped because time is passing so slowly. This flight has two meals that are hardly memorable but at least take some time out of the schedule as we are eating. We are scheduled to arrive in Seattle at 8:15 am local time (11:15 pm in China).

The child in the seat behind us is having a terrible time. He cries for most of the first 6+ hours of the flight and his parents appear helpless to assist him. Although they are not trying much - just sitting there and asking themselves aloud why this child won't sleep. Not sure they were prepared with any diversions for this child. A kind mother approaches them at about hour 4 and asks if they need anything (she has a quiet infant traveling with her) and they decline.

At about hour 6 Zoe starts to get a bit wild. We can tell this is her typical "I'm tired" behavior, but she cannot find a position of comfort laying on the seat between Karen and me. Karen takes her and walks her on the airplane for more than 30 minutes, but she is not calming a bit - she is just talking and pointing this out in a loud voice. I take her and hide in the bathroom (fortunately there are something like 10 bathrooms on this plane) for 30 minutes. She is quiet in here, but fascinated. "What's this - Kleenex? Let me pull on this! What's this? Soap dispenser? How to I work this? How do I turn on the water? Who is that in the mirror? Can I rattle this door latch a bit more?" She shreds a Kleenex for a while before I decide we have dominated the bathroom for long enough, and she and I return to the seat with about 2 hours of flight time remaining.

Emma is exhausted but cannot find a comfortable sleep position. She is trying, but nothing seems to work. Zoe is exhausted, and starts to amplify her voice. She is clearly overstimulated by this environment and all of the new things to check out. We have fed her on and off all flight, and finally she is tired of snacking on Cheerios. We need to get this plane on the ground ASAP!

Just when the child behind us finally goes to sleep, Zoe picks up the charge of unruly child and starts to alternately cry and be quiet. The quiet times to not last long, and at this point, it dawns on me that we are finally cashing in all of our good luck travel karma. Emma has been such an easy traveler that we are a bit unprepared to sit in our seat, helpless to calm a screaming kid, and ride it out until we get home. It's a terrible feeling, and there is nothing we can do. Zoe wants something (a flat surface upon which to sleep) and we are not providing this for her, so her response is to get louder and louder to present the facts of her case to us. Nothing we can do here. Ugh. This is terrible - truly terrible.

Mercifully, both kids fall asleep about 15 minutes before we land at Seatac. I hate for a 15 hour travel day to be dominated by memories of the last 2+ hours, but that's the way things go. In fact and on the whole Zoe did great. She bore the first 12+ with little complaint - more than many adults can vouch for. But we are not eager for any long airplane flights any time soon.

We are on the runway and allow the airplane to clear out. Lots of carry-on luggage for us. Waking Emma is like waking the dead she is so asleep. We manage to get off the plane, and put ourselves last in line for Customs in the U.S.

Okay - I will say it. Our system is an embarrassment. We have an initial 30 minute wait for our passports to be checked. About 29 minutes longer than China. But this is not the half of it. Once we get our initial check, we need to step into another line because Zoe needs to be processed specially. She has a visa to enter the US, and the paperwork needs review and special handling. Like, tear envelope, staple papers together, ask parents two questions. Tell them they are free to go. Straightforward? I suppose so. It took an hour and a half.

We collect our bags two hours after landing. Zoe has been sleeping in her front pack the entire time. Emma graciously agreed to watch another DVD while we waited. Our bags pass through customs quickly, then off to the main terminal to meet our friend and neighbor Jill who is picking us up.

Our dear friends have posted "Welcome Home" signs on the house, and put some food in the fridge and fruit in the kitchen. What a warm surprise. This is true salvation for us - to have something to eat when we are finally back. We have a lot of great friends in West Seattle.

A few hours to settle down, and then nap time for all. We are finally home.

We are home!

After an epic journey - we are finally home - the Whole Gang. I am due for another long post to describe the planes/trains/automobiles experience we had, but right now we are all so tired that I think we need to get some sleep. More to come - probably when I wake up at 3am in Seattle fresh as a daisy.

Last day in China

July 17 – Guangzhou

Have I mentioned the peacocks? I cannot believe I have not mentioned the peacocks. That’s the funny thing about China. In any other location, at any other time, the peacocks would make a great story in and of themselves. But this is China after all, and something as germane as peacocks does not rate nearly as high as the other things we see every day on the streets here.

At any rate, on our first morning in this hotel, we awoke to what sounded like a cat stranded high in a tree and howling for help. It was an odd cry – not quite a cat, but we could not place what it was. It started about dawn, and then stopped after awhile. We heard it and forgot about it. Then, that afternoon, we were finally looking out our hotel window, right across the ally, and lo and behold – there it was. A peacock (and other large tropical bird) cage with at least 3 peacocks and various other specimens, in an open air outdoor pen, atop the roof of the adjacent building. A building that by all measures looks abandoned from the street. But it’s clearly not abandoned. There are peacocks in residence.

We got a good laugh over that, but then moved on to other adventures and experiences.

Today is our last full day in China. Unbelievable that the time has gone so quickly, and yet when I look back on the photo of Karen, Emma and me leaving the house in Seattle (last time as family of three!) for the airport, that time seems eons ago.

We were basically unplanned for the morning. Tried to do a little shopping on the Island, have some lunch, and then head to the US Consulate for our swearing in. Emma, Zoe, and I went to the park while Karen packed the room a bit in the morning. We had some lunch, and then met Cordelia and the rest of our group for the 45 minute van ride to the new US Consulate building in East Guangzhou – a modern neighborhood with tall skyscrapers, cutting edge architecture, and fancy automobiles. Unfortunately I did not take my camera with us because it was forbidden in the consulate building. But the sites were pretty impressive and the feeling was antiseptic compared to the rest of the city.

The swearing in was rather unceremonious after two weeks of paperwork and meetings. We verified our faces to the man behind the window (yep – family and kid match our records), we got a bit of a lecture from a consulate official about being a good parent, and then, as a group, 30 families (over 100 people in the room) collectively swore that we did not lie to anyone when we filled out our paperwork.

Then it was done. All of 45 minutes later the process was complete, and Zoe is clear to travel to the US with her Chinese passport and entry Visa. Once we step foot on American soil, Zoe becomes a US Citizen, but she can retain her Chinese passport as well.

We pile back in the van, and John’s new daughter (Lan Lan who is about 8 years old) starts singing a beautiful traditional Chinese song with a happy smile on her face. Cordelia joins her but tells Karen and me that she (Cordelia) usually cannot sing the song because it’s so emotional to her. The lyrics describe how a happy girl is a girl with a mother, and it’s clear that Lan Lan knows it well and must have been singing it for years in the orphanage. It’s a bit of an emotional moment.

We get back on the island and go our separate ways. Our family is hungry; Randy, Amy and Naomi have one more day here and will lay low this evening, and John and Lan Lan head to the airport tonight. So Emma, Zoe, Karen and I head back to Lucy’s at Emma’s request for one final meal in China – at the American restaurant…!

After dinner Emma needs the bathroom, so Karen takes her back to the hotel (it’s a short walk and a guaranteed Western-style toilet) and I take Zoe in the front pack. Unfortunately Zoe is having none of it this time. She is screaming in despair, and nothing I can do will calm her. I am on the street, at prime evening time when everyone is out, and I have an inconsolable kid on my hands. As I try to ignore the furrowed brows and steely stares, I being to walk with her. No dice. Then I bump into a nice shop keeper who we have met before and where we shopped this morning. He looks at me and sees my predicament. Asks where Zoe is from – I say “Shangrao.” He says, “oh – Jiangxi Province” and immediately breaks into calming Mandarin phrases “Please don’t cry,” and “You are a good child.” Zoe stops crying immediately and looks at him in wonder. Either the words are magic, or it’s the familiar language, but at any rate it works. He asks me to repeat the phrases in Mandarin several times until I get it right, gives me a thumbs up, and sends me on my way. Zoe is calm now. She tries to cry a bit, but then I speak to her in Mandarin and she calms back down, looks up into my eyes, and smiles.

We walk into the public park and watch the badminton players who come out in the evenings when it finally cools off. Karen and Emma return, and we set out on our way again as a group.

Collectively we shop quite a bit. There are plenty of interesting stores we never explored in our few days here, and we try to take it in now. We spend the last of our Yuan, and head to the hotel for a bath for Zoe and swimming for Emma. Tomorrow is an early wakeup call (4:30) and a long day of travel, but I don’t fear it nearly as much as I did even one week ago.

Emma and I are disappointed to find the pool has closed early tonight – a real bummer for her on her last evening here. We try to shake it off, but she is pretty devastated. We return to the room and she has a bath – then some final packing and off to sleep for everyone.

I would love to be able to sum up this trip into something pithy and meaningful. But you will all understand once you meet Zoe that it’s not so easy to put whatever “it” is down into writing. I feel like we are incredibly lucky and am excited to return home to start Zoe’s life in the U.S. She’s a funny, strong, engaging kid and the fact that we’ve struck gold with two kids in a row is almost too hard to believe.

My biggest initial fear when Karen and I first talked about adoption was whether I could possibly feel bonded to an adopted kid like I feel bonded to Emma. Would my love for her be the same, or would it somehow be conditional? How would I know? It felt like a really big gamble to me, and I was afraid it would be unfair to adopt a kid that I felt less love for compared to my natural child. But this kid is amazing. After less than two weeks I feel like Zoe is an integral part of the family. I feel strongly protective of her and I wonder how I could have ever worried about adopting in the first place. The best part for us is that this is only an early chapter in our family, and we have lots more adventures ahead of us.

The first of which is 15 hours of airplane time…

I’d better get to sleep.

Emma's new dress; Scenes from the White Swan Hotel; Group dinner

July 16 – Guangzhou
Today is a low key day according to our schedule. Cordelia is taking all of our paperwork to the U.S. Consulate for review. We are required to stay in our hotel rooms from 10am to 11:30am in case there is a paperwork snafu, in which case Cordelia can call us and try to clear things up. She will give us a confirmatory phone call when all is done to let us know that we are free to enjoy the day and leave the room.

We have breakfast in the hotel and then I quickly set out to try and change some money into RMB (yuan) at the local bank. I have heard the process is slow – but what does that mean? I have about 30 minutes until the 10am witching hour – surely this is enough time.

I walk in the door and take a number. I see – now serving number 29. My number: 67. Hmm – not looking so good, but there are three different tellers working, so this could work out.

I look glance around – there are rows of chairs for sitting. Not a good sign. I decide to browse a local shop across the street to kill time for 10 minutes before returning to the bank. As I walk in the door I hear an announcement “Now Serving Number 31 at Window 3.” Hmm – I return to the hotel defeated and am back at the room at 10 on the dot.

We spend some family time in the room playing a bit – updating the blog, etc. Cordelia finally calls at 11:35 and tells us Congratulations – all paperwork is clear. We will be officially sworn in tomorrow at the US Consulate in the afternoon. Our final hurdle has been crossed in the paperwork odyssey.

I set out again to change money and see that they have already passed my number 67 while I was waiting in the hotel room. But there is still a queue 30 deep. Then I start to wander the island and find another bank, this one with a queue only 15 deep and three tellers working. 45 minutes later I am out the door with more RMB for shopping today.

Karen, Emma, Amy and Randy are going to walk to the clothes shopping area near the hotel. I am going to spend some QT with Zoe in the room – have lunch and maybe take a walk – just bonding. They head out while we feed on noodles and prunes. She makes a mess of herself, but generally is pretty happy. After all, it’s noodles!

After lunch, she reluctantly allows me to towel her off. Then I get out the baby carrier. She looks at it in terror and sees me putting it on, and immediately goes ballistic calling for mommy. I get her in the carrier – walk into the hallway to her piercing screams echoing off the walls. Geez – I am afraid we’ll wake the dead and am a bit embarrassed to walk through the lobby with her this way. I try to duck into a stairwell marked “Exit” but this hardly seems like a good solution. The concrete walls and stairs seem to amplify her screams, and now it seems like I am some sort of shady character, ducking down a back stairway with a screaming baby. So, back to the hallway, back to the room, and a quick deep breath for me.

Okay, we need to do this thing. I am not going to sit in the hotel room all afternoon. I will just deal with the stares from everyone as we go screaming through the lobby. So, back to the hallway, walk to the elevators. Hope nobody is taking a noontime nap. Then, magically when Zoe sees the elevator she calms down and studies the buttons. We board and ride down to the lobby, and walk out the door all calm and grace.

Zoe likes being outside. She tucks herself close to me as we walk, and holds my arm with one hand. We took an hour long walk through the streets (across the river and off the island) to see what was selling in the local shops. Mostly clothing in an open-air mall that was teeming with people. I’m the only westerner that I see during my entire walk.

We take some side streets and loop around back toward the island. See shops with cured meat hanging from hooks, and a smell I don’t need to experience again. Guys sitting around with a band saw carving up some sort of meat slab. Strange exotic dried scorpions and snakes, and other delicacies that I would rather not know too much about.

Then back to the hotel, where we get return to the cool of the A/C. Zoe and I have completely sweated through our outfits during this journey. We play a few games in the room (lots of pass-the-ball and such), and it dawns on her that she has not seen Karen for the last 2 hours. Suddenly the flood gates burst. She is inconsolable. Crying at the top of her lungs. Hoping that somewhere, somehow, Karen can hear her screams for help. She is exhausted but giving it all she’s got. We lie on the bed and attempt to sleep. She is alternately quiet, and then full-bore screaming. You’d think this was a Hollywood murder mystery with the blood-curdling cries emanating from this room. I’ve resigned myself to a kid that will not calm down until she passes out from exhaustion, or…

At this moment I hear the key card “beep bop bee bop” at the door. Karen and Emma have returned with all sorts of goodies (fantastic deals as usual) but the best goody of all, as far as Zoe is concerned, is that Karen can lay by her side and she calms down immediately.

My walk with Zoe was a great success. I never thought she would go for it, but she did and I enjoyed spending that time with her. But it is still clear that her primary comfort and sense of security is Karen. I am feeling better about the airplane ride home now (except for the 5:20 am departure from the hotel in two days).

Cordelia asked the group to assemble at 4:30pm to walk over to the White Swan hotel for group and kid photos on the “red couch” and in front of the waterfall there. It’s a tradition, and the kids are mostly game but Zoe is tired enough that all of her photos include her crying. The White Swan is the fancy hotel on the island – much more expensive than the Victory – with nice shops, an indoor waterfall with coy pond, and expensive restaurants.

We then head to a group dinner at a Chinese restaurant down the street. The menu reads disgusting (lots of pig ears, tripe, silk worms, etc.) but Cordelia does an excellent job of ordering tasty food like fried rice, dumplings, noodle soup, sweet and sour chicken, black pepper steak, green beans and drinks. We ate family style, which is the way it’s done at all of these restaurants. Take a bit from a dish on the lazy Susan, spin it a bit, and take something else that passes you by and looks interesting. We fed 10 people in this fancy place (with food left over) for just over $40 U.S. total. Even on this mostly tourist haven of an island.

Karen, Emma, Zoe, and I return to the hotel for an after-dark swim in the rooftop pool. The moon and stars are out, and it is still warm. Amy, Randy, and Naomi join us a few minutes later and we splash around and take in the nighttime city views.

It’s hard to believe we’ve been here almost two weeks. Karen and I spoke of how we thought by this time we would be dying to return to Seattle. But we have really only spent what feel like a few days in each city, and with all of the meetings and paperwork, we feel like there is so much more to explore. I suppose that’s a good sign. It will be nice to leave wishing we could have stayed longer, as opposed to feeling like we are crawling the walls of our hotel room.

Tomorrow morning is unplanned and maybe we will shop some more before our afternoon meeting and swearing in ceremony at the Consulate. And then one more dinner in China before our grand adventure back to the U.S. It will be an odd change to be in a place where I can understand the background conversation, as opposed to the din of unintelligible voices that I have become accustomed to hearing lately.

Emma and Zoe

Zoe feeds herself - a practiced hand

Six Banyan Temple and our Blessing; Emma meets the Monks

July 15 – Guangzhou
Emma did not sleep well last night – had a lot on her mind she said. We had our breakfast in the hotel, and met Cordelia at 9:30 for a trip to a Six Banyan Temple, a Buddhist Temple, and then some shopping at the Provincial Arts and Crafts store in town. Unfortunately Randy was up all night last night sick, so he is unable to join us for this trip.

Cordelia warns us about beggars when we approach the temple. She recommends that we do not make eye contact if we are not going to give them money. She also recommends that if we give money, we give it from our pockets, not our wallets. Cordelia is very protective of us and gives us lots of tips for survival in the city, but Guangzhou feels no less safe than any other typical city in China or the U.S., and I think she is trying to be as careful as possible because those who adopt come from all walks of America, including folks who are not so comfortable in the city. At any rate, the scene is much less aggressive than Tiananmen Square, and we enter the temple without any trouble.

Cordelia provides us with a history of the temple area and gives us a little lesson on recognizing some Chinese writing as we examine the carved entablatures surrounding the area. Even better, she leads us to the main temple, where we all receive a blessing from a monk. It’s hard to describe in words how powerful this experience felt. We all knelt before the alter, and closed our eyes, and listened to the incredibly beautiful singing chant during the blessing. It’s a traditional blessing for good luck, and we were kneeling in front of three huge bronze Buddha statues – one for past life, one for present life, and one for future life. Something about this experience was very emotional for me, and all of the kids were as quiet as can be during the blessing – all you could hear was the chanting. It’s as if the girls were moved to silence by the power of the moment.

After the blessing we walked the grounds. Emma met two older monks sitting in lotus position and gave them postcards from Seattle. They loved her eyebrows and agreed to be photographed with her. Then they provided her with a blessing for good luck.

I ran into a Bucknell classmate here – we knew each others names, but were not direct friends while in school. Her husband was fully decked out in Bucknell Class of 92 garb, which was a dead giveaway. She and her husband are on their second adoption – a common theme we see among westerners we have met.

After the temple we head to a traditional crafts store. Emma bought a fan (like you see in a dance performance), and we bought some beautiful paintings as well as some gifts (details of which will not be provided to the viewing audience, but consider yourselves warned for your next birthday or Christmas!). The back to the hotel for lunch and a rest. Zoe inhales an adult portion of noodles, as well as some prunes, and then spends some tummy time with me on the floor just chatting and cooing. We are warming up nicely.

We also met up with John today, the third Faith family of this group. He is on his 5th adoption from China, and his 7th kid. His new daughter is 7 years old, with cerebral palsy, and was days away from permanently being put into an orphanage because she was made available three times and nobody would take her. So John stepped in and will bring her home with him to Houston this week to join his large family.

Anyway, Cordelia agrees to take John and me to the electronics shopping area. Randy would have joined, but is still too sick. So, the three adults and John’s girl head out in a cab to this area, about 20 minutes from the hotel.

This is like a large mall with booths everywhere and everyone wanting to sell me an MP4 player. I wander a bit while John buys some games for his kids, and browse the camera accessories. Turns out the starting offer for things like lenses and accessories is similar to prices we would pay in the U.S., but you can bargain lower than that. Unfortunately I did not have enough cash on hand to purchase the flash unit or lens I was considering, so I didn’t even venture to bargain, but it was amazing to see how quickly the price started to drop when I expressed little interest in buying.

I bump into John and he waves me over like a kid in a candy store. Then he grabs the clerk, and tells me to follow them. We wander some halls, go to the back of another store, through several locked doors and into a locked closet room where there are hundreds of current DVDs for movies that have been barely released in theaters. This is a movie nut’s dream, and each DVD is only 10 Yuan (about $1.25 U.S.). I felt like we were straight out of a movie scene ourselves with this little back room adventure, and it was exciting just to experience how this whole thing works when you know the game.

We finish up here, and step out to find a cab and notice that a rain storm has passed through. It’s still humid though – we are told today is 38.8 C (102 F) degrees in the city.

Back at the hotel Zoe has still not napped and dinner is approaching. I put her in the front pack, and set out with some Cheerios to pick up our laundry. This is our first venture together, and a test to see if she will freak out. Turns out that Cheerios must be pretty comforting because for the entire journey she made not a peep – did not seem to care at all that it was just she and me, and Karen was nowhere to be seen.

We gathered with the rest of our group for dinner. Headed to the White Swan to check out the dinner buffet but the prices were ridiculous, so back to Lucy’s, where as you will recall, the beer is cold and there are family-friendly food choices for all. The back to the hotel for a Zoe bath (she took a huge lick of liquid Aveno baby soap from her hands and gave me a totally unfazed look in response), and a special nighttime swim with Emma in the rooftop pool. Again the water was warm, the air was warm, and this time she and I could enjoy the tremendous view and the nighttime city lights from our perch in the water. That was a wonderful end to this day. And Zoe crashed hard in bed with nary a complaint she was so tired.

Scenes from Guangzhou

July 14 – Guangzhou.
9pm – the blogging hour. I am sitting beside Zoe’s crib and she is not falling asleep. She has made major gains in getting comfortable with me, but her ability to fall asleep is much worse here in Guangzhou. The crib is tiny, but I think that’s only part of the story. The other part is that she is enjoying her awake time and interacting with us, and I think it gets hard for kids to unwind in the evening to sleep at this stage in their development. Or maybe it’s just the crib. Who knows? Zoe takes quite a few tries to go down this evening and she finally needs Karen to lay by her side to calm, quiet, and sleep. It’s suddenly 9:55. Not sure my post will be as long as the prior two days at this hour.

Guangzhou is a pretty place – we are staying on Shamian Island (which is kind of a funny island – you can circumnavigate the perimeter on foot in less than 1 hour – even in the heat) in the Victory Hotel. We have a suite, (as we did in Nanchang) but this room is definitely a step down from our room in the Gloria Hotel – Nanchang. The room here has one bathroom and no kitchen and no eating area. It’s more of a glorified 1br. Apt, complete with a computer and internet hookup in room, and more importantly, a reverse osmosis water treatment unit so we can get drinking water right in our room as opposed to purchasing bottled water (de rigueur for the trip up to this point). The shower is also hit or miss. Start at one temperature, but be hit with either ice cold or boiling hot water at any moment. And all of the towels are shrink wrapped, emitting a chlorine-type odor when finally freed from their plastic mummification.

Zoe had a tough night last night, our first in the room. She woke often and cried loudly all night. I kept finding her pressed with her head into the side of the crib, or her body twisted and bound in the large sheets that were provided with the tiny crib. I finally increase the room temperature by 2 degrees C and this seems to comfort her a bit.

We got a phone call from housekeeping at 10:47 pm last night. Apparently we put a “Please make up this room” card on the door when we went to bed. There is no “Please do not Disturb” card. What you need to do is flip the specially marked light switch by the bed and it turns on a light outside the door to let people know to bug off. And our hotel key card is only merely waved by the lock to activate the opening mechanism (complete with vintage 80’s Robotron type sound effects). So this hotel is a mix of high technology gadgets, and low technology plumbing, and an extra charge on your credit card every where you look if you are not careful.

We wake early and head downstairs for the complimentary breakfast. Same as the other hotels – a mix of American type fare and traditional Chinese breakfast. Zoe has Congee soup, hard boiled egg and banana. The rest of us have French toast, fruit juice, sausage and scrambled eggs. The coffee is better here than the other hotels – a nice change.

Karen has remarked how it already feels different in this part of China. Everywhere you look there are Americans present, finalizing their adoption. Lots of special needs kids that we run across. We see families we met previously in the Beijing Airport (and in our hotel in Nanchang) as well as some new faces. And some people we bumped into in Wal Mart – Nanchang, who currently reside in Steamboat Springs and are adopting their first kid from China. It has a small world feel, and does not quite ring like an authentic experience to us. And this in a city of 10 million – another Manhattan!

Cordelia meets us at 9:30am for our doctor appt and visa photo for Zoe. The clinic is a short walk from the hotel, and upon entering it’s like a scene from the triage hall of a disaster movie – families lining the halls, kids everywhere, no place to sit and what looks like pandemonium. Turns out it’s only a bunch of clueless Americans like us, and our gracious hosts walking us through their system. For all of the apparent craziness, we are only waiting less than 10 minutes before we enter the “three station” checkup for Zoe. Height/weight, vitals, and skin check. Start to finish it’s quick – we’re out of there completely (after lollygagging and waiting for Randy, Amy and Naomi to finish up) before 10:30. Not quick enough for Zoe, of course. And still plenty of time for us to witness some shocking parenting from another group of folks who are adopting.

We return to the hotel, and Randy, Cordelia and I head to the Business Center to fill out all of the paperwork that Cordelia will take to the consulate appointment on our behalf on Monday. Faith makes this process a real breeze, and Cordelia is very professional making sure all of our i’s are dotted and t’s crossed before she collects our paperwork and final fees, and bids us farewell for the day until tomorrow morning. It’s a lot of writing the same information over and over, and it took the better part of an hour for Randy and me to finish up with Cordelia.

Zoe is napping and Emma is having some Mommy time after I return to the room. It’s clear Emma is still adjusting to the idea of sharing attention, and it is understandably stressful for her. Karen has been very good about making sure they get some one-on-one time every day, but I can tell this is still a harsh adjustment for the poor kid.

Emma and I have lunch in the hotel, return to the room, and find that Zoe has slept for 2 plus hours this nap. When she finally awakes, we head out to drop off laundry down the street and do a little local exploring.

Emma bought a cute Chinese New Year doll (same size and concept as Barbie but a Chinese product very popular with local girls) and we browse a few other stores before returning to the hotel to finally SWIM!

It’s hard to describe how patient Emma has been given that we have not had a real good, pleasurable swim since our arrival. The Beijing pool was cold, and geared toward exercise, in the basement of the hotel. The Nanchang pool was mostly closed and when it finally opened, the water was so sketchy (I could not see deeper than the bottom of my swim trunks) that we were in and out in no time. Well, when it comes to pools, the Victory Hotel shines on this trip. The pool is a rooftop affair, outdoors and with great views of the city all around. The water is warm (probably over 90 degrees) and the air is warm, and we spend over an hour jumping and playing, and getting Zoe acquainted with her new favorite sport. She is very game, but would only swim with Karen. Emma on the other hand could swim across the pool and floated on her back for 140 seconds. We frolicked and enjoyed until dinnertime.

Dinner was held at Lucy’s, an American cuisine place that we promised Emma we would try tonight. I had fish and chips, and Emma spaghetti. Zoe had traditional noodles and Karen a sandwich. And the beer was cold!

Back to the hotel for baths, winding down, and bedtime. Amazingly, Zoe allowed me to take her into the bath, cried for only a short time (and hardly loud), and then seemed to have fun with me in the tub getting used to the slippery feel of the baby soap. She was great, and this is a huge change from earlier in the week. I feel like we finally turned one corner – now if only I can be the one to comfort her to sleep we’ll be in pretty good shape.

July 13 – Goodbye Nanchang, Hello Guangzhou

12:00 a.m. Brilliant Detective hears telltale grunting from a little body in the crib next to him.

12:40 a.m. The first cry. Brilliant Detective thinks “great – midnight diaper change. I’ll give her one more chance before we take the plunge.”

1:40 a.m. Real crying now. Brilliant Detective has his “ah-ha” moment, finds baby wide awake in crib, and gears up for the diaper change.

The plan is simple, really. All it takes is deft maneuvering, swift hands, and the old diaper-change magic. Will I fall back to my old training? Am I as quick as I used to be? Can I pull this off with the precision that is needed? I stretch a bit – need to warm up here. Make a few practice moves. “Okay – like this,” I tell myself – “One, two, three” – one hand under kid – scoop from crib, lay on blanket, pull off jammies, pull off diaper, wipe, replace diaper, and swift return to bed. I need a stopwatch on this one – I think I can do this in record time. I’m feeling confident that the time-worn motions will return to me like a retired baseball pitcher standing on the mound and staring at home plate. I mean it’s been over three years since I have had to change a diaper at night. But I am primed and ready…

Okay. Deep breath. Nerves: calm. Stance: poised, cat-like. Senses: on high alert. I am ready as I will ever be.

Zoe greets me at the crib staring up with terror in her eyes and immediately hits full volume in protest. “That’s okay,” I tell myself. “I was ready for this. It’s no worse than bath time.”

I get her out of the crib and onto the changing mat on the floor. So far so good. All is going according to plan. But I forgot one crucial element. One tiny detail. Something so trivial that it is easy to overlook, and yet so important that the task cannot be completed without it…

I did not dress her for bed. I have no idea how these jammies snap together. It’s pitch dark at this hour.

“Okay – keep calm. Remember your training. I can do this – I can do this! It’s only a minor snag in the works. Just a little setback.” I fumble a bit and find the snaps. “Of course – this is a front-snap jammy. I know where I am now. This is familiar territory. We’re back on track.” Zoe disagrees with my approach, but she is helpless to resist my unsnapping. There we go – down to the diaper.

At this point, Zoe is rolling furiously left and right from the hips. Trying to hide the diaper Velcro from my hands. But she does not realize the Brilliant Detective is an expert in midnight diaper changes. A black belt, if you will. Her hip wiggling is no match for my practiced hands.

Velcro off – one side, two sides. Diaper off, ready for the wipe, But wait…..

The diaper is clean. So clean that I could return this to Target for a refund. So clean that it glows white in the night like a beacon. A beacon with an accusing glow that mocks Brilliant Detective for this whole episode.

At this point I am sure I have awakened the entire floor of the hotel. I return Zoe to her diaper, her jammies, and her crib, and in less than 30 seconds after returning to bed she is silent – calm and poised and happy that this late-night injustice is finally over.

I am not so quick to fall asleep.

We wake up later than usual this morning. Karen is feeling a bit under the weather, and we have nowhere to be until our noon check out and our 3pm departure for the airport. Randy and Amy stop by with Naomi (they are the other Faith International couple in our group) and we have a nice chat while the two girls play on the floor a bit. Emma Zoe and I play ball. We pack slowly. Zoe and Karen nap until lunch time and Emma and I have some time together in the room. Emma’s new friend Mary stops by with her dad to exchange addresses. Mary was adopted 6 years ago and her family, from Alabama, is on their second child from China. She is 7 and friendly and a nice change of pace for Emma after all of the adult time Emma has had.

Michelle stops by with Zoe’s China passport. The photo makes me smile – a typical Zoe worried expression on the day we met her. It’s the only quick moment they had when she was not crying, and seeing this photo reminds me of how far we have come in less than a week.

Zoe wakes up from her nap and allows me to take her to the dining table with no word of protest! It’s as if she does not even remember last night (or more likely she has already forgiven me). I feed her an entire meal and we have some baby talk chat with plenty of smiling and Zoe pointing to various objects and “naming” them for me. It’s a priceless hour we spend for a few reasons. Zoe was comfortable, and Karen was able to rest a bit longer before our plane trip.

We are able to stay in the room until 3pm even though checkout was noon – once again Michelle has worked some magic on our behalf. At 3 we all gather and board the bus for the airport. It’s a quick trip, and relatively quick check-in process. We are sad to say goodbye to Michelle and take some final photos before crossing into security, which is very quick in China, but as thorough as any U.S. procedure.

Emma continues to be a rock star. The people are fascinated with her. When we finally line up to board the plan, there is literally a line of local people with their digital cameras out, zoom lenses trained, and furiously snapping photos of us as we show our boarding passes. All we need is a red carpet! Emma pauses and gives the group a peace sign (a typical Chinese pose we see teenage girls doing for the camera) and this brings a murmur of delighted approval from the crowd. Then down the jetway for Zoe’s first airplane flight.

It’s an uneventful trip. Zoe would rather be moving around but otherwise did not complain. The flight was 1 hour long and they still served a full dinner, and Zoe made quick work of tomatoes, broccoli, and rice before we had to return our dishes and prepare for landing in Guangzhou. She also made quick work of a diaper (not all of which was contained – poor Karen gets a gold medal for this trip, and has another set of shorts that won’t be worn again until cleaned), so Karen deplanes ahead of Emma and I to change Zoe.

We are greeted by Cordeila, the Faith representative here, who has a warm smile and lots of information for us. It’s 40 minutes on the van to the hotel, and we arrive, check in, and wind down for the evening. I’m a day late from my last posting and hopefully can catch up here today at the hotel.

Final Scenes from Nanchang

Scenes from People's Park

July 12 – Nanchang (last full day here)
Funny – I thought that not much happened yesterday. And yet my blog post was rather lengthy. Sorry for those who prefer brevity – I hope I am not repeating myself as we go. It’s nice to be able to keep a journal like this as we travel and I think I now understand the widespread appeal of the blog.

We wake today, our last full day here in this city, with no real plan in mind. Breakfast is leisurely compared to the last few days. The rest of our travel group has requested a trip to the country side to see a local village. Karen, Emma and I are not feeling that adventurous, so we ask Michelle to write down the name “People’s Park” in Chinese for us so we can show a cab driver and head out in our own little foursome. Michelle tells us she will see us later this afternoon to verify some final paperwork.

In spite of the hectic traffic in China, traveling itself is rather organized. You only need to close your eyes and get into a zen-like trance so that you don’t have a complete heart attack as you watch your taxi, three busses, two mopeds, four bikes and five pedestrians attempt to occupy the same exact point in the space-time continuum. For some reason it always seems to work out and we have not seen or heard any problem with this system (although you do hear a constant din of car horns all day).

But back to the organization. Each hotel has kindly created business cards with their address, and the address of popular destinations written in both English and Chinese. So, always carry one of these, and if you get in trouble you can point to your destination to a cab driver and be on your way. Michelle has added “People’s Park” to our little card since it was not a pre-printed destination, and before we know it we are riding in air-conditioned comfort from the hotel to the park.

It feels like a long cab ride – definitely too long to walk. And yet, it’s 10 Yuan. That’s like $1.25 or something crazy. I try to give the cab driver 15 Yuan but he absolutely refuses a tip, all the while with a big smile. As hard as these people work and as poor as some of them are, they are gracious beyond all imagination.

People’s Park is a fantastic destination, and a good break for Emma. It reminds me of a cross between Boston Common and Seattle Center, with pathways through shaded groves, a covered stage, pagodas, ponds and bridges, and play areas scattered throughout. There’s also sort of a fairground midway type of area with a carousel, rides, and other games that are available for 10 Yuan each. Emma rides the carousel and one other ride before we set out to a new area of the park. We see old women doing tai chi, and other groups of women playing some sort of game and singing in harmony what I can only imagine is a traditional Chinese song. We also run across many areas of what we have found to be a common feature in Chinese culture – the public “work out” area. We saw these in Beijing as well – just think of a sort of exercise course, where you stop at a station and perform some sort of task (spinning a large wheel, doing a sort of log-roll, performing on the parallel bars, swinging from monkey bars, etc.). Unlike a similar type of American park feature (which we had down the street from my New Jersey home), these are actually being actively used by all sorts of people, generally older men and women.

It’s little wonder the population is relatively fit even though the food seems to be all cooked in heavy oil. They are either riding their bike (towing a large electrical transformer or wagon of watermelons) or working out at a park like this. We have heard from both of our guides that things are really changing now, however with lots of people buying cars when they never had them before. This explains the increase in air pollution and persistent haze we see (in spite of the beautiful sunset photo I took post-rainstorm from our hotel – not a typical shot I can assure you), and we collectively wonder what this change means for the future of China.

We would have loved to spend more time here but it’s getting really hot and nearly lunch time, so we find a cab and head back to the hotel for some food and to allow Zoe to nap.

Emma has been craving American food. We have heard rumor of McDonalds down the street, so I set off on a solo adventure while the girls stay behind. I found the McDonalds after a long walk, but unfortunately I could only find ice cream on their menu, so I return to the hotel empty-handed an hour later to a disappointed Emma and a napping Zoe.

Michelle stops by this afternoon with our official notary documents. We need to verify that all information presented is correct. Also included is the official story of her abandonment. Zoe was found at the Old Folk’s Home the day after she was born. She was transferred to the orphanage for the required 2-month period where an advertisement is posted in the local paper describing her to make sure nobody lost her accidentally. Then she want into foster care (this detail was provided by her orphanage director – it’s not in the notary documents) for 12 months or so before we came into her life.

After Michelle leaves we have a little fun time in the room. Turns out Zoe really likes to play ball, and seems rather talented at the game. Future hoops star? Maybe a bowler on the pro circuit? She continues to display excellent hand-eye coordination.

We returned to the restaurant we tried last night but with a larger group tonight. Zoe does well in the high chair after some initial protest, and is a bit puzzled by the sticky noodles that don’t seem to slide down her throat as easily as usual. Of course, sticky rice and egg soup are popular, and Emma gamely has yet another meal of Chinese food which is becoming a bit of a one-trick-pony to her.

Back to the hotel for some much needed baths. You would understand if you watched Zoe eat. Very willful – she displayed her prowess drinking from a sippy cup with no assistance, and continued to feed herself from a dish of rice and egg soup, using her spoon to scoop and eat. While she is adept at feeding herself, the food does not always hit the intended target and we feel like we are always leaving the restaurant in a scene of devastation – noodles everywhere, rice all over, and a stained tablecloth in our wake. Yet again, the waitress will not accept our tip no matter how hard we try.

One more set of baths in Nanchang. Emma has learned how to take a pill (her Malaria pill) using just a drink of juice. Earlier in the trip we were crushing it and adding it to applesauce, and she finally told me that she “dreaded night time in China.” When I asked her why, she told me it was the Malaria pill and the horrible bitter taste, so we implemented Plan B, and what excitement she had at this success in taking a pill the less painful route.

Zoe’s bath was the usual cacophony (chorus?) of protest. I have almost gotten her ears entirely scrubbed clean but 15 months of dirt do not give up easily. And she is still stressed out by the separation from Karen during the bath. I will say, however, that once I got her bundled in her towel and out of the bathroom near Karen, she did not immediately need Karen’s embrace to calm. Just Karen’s presence was enough for her to quiet down in my arms, which is a huge gain from the last few days. Don’t get me wrong – she does find me hilarious. Just hilarious from a 1-foot (or greater) distance.

Baby steps…

Emma takes a last look at the beautiful skyline from the hotel window (think lots of Christmas lights) and blows four kisses to the brightly-lit Tengwang Pavilion. One for each family member. She is sad to leave Nanchang, she tells me, but I remind her that heading to Guangzhou is one step closer to American food, and that provides a little comfort.

The family is all asleep, and it’s my turn too. More tomorrow. The 9 pm fireworks show has started across the river so I will fall asleep to the popping noise I hear outside.

July 11 – Nanchang
We awake early this morning. Zoe has gotten into the habit of soiling her diaper some time in the middle of the night, so we always have a surprise for her morning change. Emma did not sleep well and woke up early this morning as well, so we slowly get ourselves downstairs to breakfast in the hotel.

Emma is not feeling quite right and does not eat much. Zoe appears really thirsty and drank lots of water, and really enjoyed a large helping of Congee soup (which looks like a Rice soup) – a popular morning breakfast we have seen. In fact, it’s so popular that Zoe decided to get a second look at it by immediately throwing it all up into Karen’s lap at the breakfast table. And all over her cute dress (which was the same dress that Amy made for Emma but now fits Zoe perfectly). We diagnose “too much food into too little tummy” because Zoe just keeps on eating after that – and puts down another helping of Congee soup as well as hard boiled egg, and fried rice with egg.

Back upstairs for a change of clothes, and we are a little late for our 9am group meeting to head to the porcelain district where we can browse for some china in local shops. Today is pouring rain (and thunder) so our planned park trip is delayed until at least tomorrow. Michelle, however, knows of some good local shops with reasonable prices on all sorts of china and suggests we go there instead.

We board a van and head out as a group. The city is crazy with traffic, but the trip to this shop is worth it. The selection is amazing – china tea sets, china vases, china tableware and jewelry boxes. I’ve made the mistake of putting the camera in the bag with the cold water bottles, which leads to fogging of the lens and prevents me from taking good photos in this store until the camera clears up. It’s a shame, because all of this is beautiful, and Karen and I would love to take lots of it home if we thought it would ever survive the airplane trip in one piece. Instead we settle for a few smaller items that should travel well and walk out of the shop having spent hardly any money at all.

Nanchang’s province, Jiangxi, is famous for fine china, and it’s no wonder that we see an endless array of beautiful things. We would love to return here and spend more time in the future browsing the shops.

After shopping we stop at a Buddhist Temple and tour. It’s amazing as well – monks are in residence here and there are many buildings with a variety of Buddha statues. The largest Buddha is 13 meters tall and cast in bronze – this statue almost touches the ceiling. After taking many photographs, we see the sign that tells us photos are prohibited – whoops!

We return to the hotel for an afternoon with family. I head to the store and buy some bottled water and some “cup of noodles” for lunch. Zoe loves these – she will grab a few of these fine noodles, get them into her mouth, and suck them up like an expert noodle eater. I remember this skill took quite some time for Emma to master when she was a baby, so it’s clear that Zoe has had some noodle practice in her past.

Zoe has a lot of the same habits that Emma had as a baby. She is quiet – a good sleeper, and she likes to make a sucking motion with her lips when she is getting sleepy. On the other hand, she likes to play a bit rough compared to Emma and gives herself a good laugh when she swings and hits you with her hand. And she is still really into Karen and hates being left alone – although she prefers being left alone to the alternative, which is me holding her.

Karen has been using her new ErgoBaby backpack and it is working like a charm, particularly with Zoe being so tactile and needing that direct contact with Karen. The only downside is that it’s 95 degrees and humid here, so two hot bodies surrounded by any sort of backpack leads to quite a bit of sweating.

New Blog Feature – Emma’s Corner (transcribed verbatim):
We went to the Buddhist temple and looked in a couple stores and bought some stuff. My favorite thing that I bought was a fancy tea set. My favorite thing that Zoe does so far is chew.

We have a quiet afternoon as Zoe naps for 3 hours. Yikes! Not sure how this will work out at bedtime. Once she wakes up, we decide that we should get out of the hotel and walk down the street onto a retail block where we are quite popular with the locals. We feel a bit like the pied pipers as groups of people slow their walk to match their pace to ours, and suddenly we’re trailing a group of curious locals. As we have often heard, they tell us Emma is a beautiful girl. The Chinese are really warm and friendly once you say hello to them, and a few we have met speak excellent English.

We leave this area of the city and head down the block near our hotel to a very nice restaurant that Michelle recommended for dinner. Thankfully, she had written out a few suggestions that she thought we would like – green beans, sweet & sour pork white rice and bottled water. The wait staff is very attentive, and they provide a high chair for Zoe. This is a real test – can she eat dinner while not sitting on Karen’s lap? Turns out she did reasonably well. The food was delicious and we also ordered an egg & dumpling soup that we thought Zoe might enjoy. Zoe feasted on rice and soup (and the occasional green bean) but she was not crazy about the pork. Emma seemed to enjoy all of the food as well, but her eating pace is a bit slower than Zoe’s frantic table manners. Finally we decided that Zoe had made enough of a mess, and Karen took her outside while Emma and I finished up.

How do you ask for the check in Chinese? I had no idea, and apparently if I just sit at the table looking stupid, they will let me be. After some time I flagged down a staff member, who had our waitress bring the check. I tried to leave her a tip, but apparently if you want to do that, you should give it directly to them instead of leaving it on the table. I had some peculiar stares as I left some money behind. We walked out of there leaving a ton of food on the table for about $11 US, in a rather fancy establishment.

Back to the hotel and baths for both girls. Zoe is still not happy about it and protests loudly that she is not attached to Karen full time. I get her reasonably clean and hand her off to Karen in a bundle of towel, while I spend some time with Emma’s bath. Emma has been a real trooper and is feeling really left out that we need to spend so much time with Zoe. It’s easy to forget that she’s only 5 years old some times given how easy she is as a kid. I make a mental note to try and spend a bit more time with her.

Zoe is not quite ready for bed when the rest of the gang is. Could it be the 3-hour nap this afternoon?! Karen lays with her on the big bed to help her quiet down, and then we try to transfer her to the crib. Forget it – she is screaming in protest and there is nothing I can do to calm her. On our first night with her, Zoe was good at self-soothing in the crib. But clearly now she is wound up and the only calming force is a bit of Karen time, so Karen leans over the crib to be close to her (and to give her lower back a bit of extra workout today!) until Zoe calms and falls asleep. We’re all off snoozing by about 9pm.

I find Zoe’s regression a bit frustrating until the other half of my brain reminds me that this poor kid is going through a major change in her life and I am sure this is stressful. In fact, it’s pretty incredible that she is already comfortable enough with us to laugh and play games, and it’s amazing that she can sleep an entire night with very little fussing considering the circumstances. She has a very sweet, soft voice and a cute laugh (sweet and soft, that is, when she is not yelling for Karen’s attention). And she has excellent dexterity with a spoon – able to feed herself with little extra help. So far we have seen no evidence that her 6th finger is anything but a nuisance – she does not use it, and it appears to lack dexterity, and it seems to get in her way more than anything else. We also cannot tell her hand preference – she can feed herself equally well either left- or right-handed.

Photos taken at the temple (oops!)

Scenes from our hotel room in Nanchang

Zoe at lunch - typical pose!

Tengwang Pavilion

A little more Zoe...

The dancing show at the Pavilion